Luke Simons Calls Women Liars, Tools of NDGOP Smear Campaign

Bismarck, ND – Disgraced Former Representative Luke Simons (R-Dickinson) declared a full-scale war of attrition during a ponderous, and belabored press conference yesterday afternoon. Full of legalese, steeping in paranoia, but conspicuously lacking in any exonerating evidence to back up his defense, Simons accused NDGOP lawmakers, members of the press, and his numerous female accusers of being engaged in a sinister cabal to frame him for sexual harassment in retaliation for his “unapologetic” far-right political beliefs.

At the onset of yesterday’s press conference, Mr. Simons’ attorney pledged to go through each allegation line-by-line so as to allow his client the ability to “tell his side of the story”. This never came to fruition, however, as multiple press inquiries for proof that would discredit the claims that led to Mr. Simons’ expulsion, or the existence of a political conspiracy to oust him were ignored outright. Even the most humdrum of questions were deflected, or left unanswered, as the press conference was brought to an abrupt close. In the end, no ‘smoking gun’ was produced to refute the litany of incident reports filed against former Representative Simons.  

Following the Press Conference, Democratic-NPL Chair, Kylie Oversen responded:

“With all the hype of a gripping legal drama, and made-for-tv scripting, the press in attendance – and viewers at home – may have expected a bombshell revelation that would add a new twist to this increasingly shameful episode. Instead, the only thing presented was a wealth of postulating, aimless repetition, and wild-eyed conspiracy theory all aimed at portraying Luke Simons as a martyr for conservatism betrayed by a Republican Judas. Those who tuned in to see if Mr. Simons would be absolved of the troubling allegations against him, saw only wrath.”

Oversen continued:

“While Mr. Simons would see it fit to silence his accusers, painting himself as a “victim” of the #MeToo Movement, the Democratic-NPL will continue to believe women while reiterating our firm commitment against workplace harassment, intimidation, and abuse. Our politics may differ, but when it comes to respecting the dignity, autonomy, and basic inalienable rights of all women, we must find ourselves united in common cause.”